It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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