Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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