I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
