I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
