They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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