I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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