GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
