I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize
