i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
