ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Mom said you looked used
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
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