I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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