i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
