so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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