He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
