Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
