there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize
