So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Randomize
