dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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