I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize