white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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