I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
