It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize