thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Randomize
