it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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