I think im going to throw up on grandma
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
