I think im going to throw up on grandma
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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