Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize