we have officially lost it.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
