did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
