Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize