I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
