ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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