so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
