What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
