Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
