He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
