i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Randomize
