i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
