Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
