And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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