I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
