if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
