just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
