just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
