last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
