dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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