I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
