u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
two words: eviction party
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
