Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
love makes seman taste better
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
My liver just had a heart attack.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
