He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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