Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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