That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I came so hard my ears popped.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
