Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Hello my rib-scented angel!
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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