Dude my mom stole all your condoms
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
