...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
