It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
