i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Randomize
