Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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