I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize