No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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