she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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