I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Text me some of your sweat
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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