Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
