just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
