i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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