dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Houston, we have a squirter
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Success! We fucked roommates!
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
