I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
