we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
