Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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